'I wanna play a game'

To be honest, I'd rather be in a Saw trap than deal with Linux sometimes. For some time I've heard reports of how gamers tried out Linux and then reached for barf bags minutes later. I'm on Linux Mint Helena and today I tried installing two games. One was official, one was unofficial.

• 
  
  
  Super Tux, a two-dimensional platform game designed by the same programmers behind Mint itself. Download available from Mint's official game archives.
• 
  
  
  FreeCol, a free copy of the Games for Windows title 'Colonization', in which you must construct and run your own city. Download available from illegal piracy website.

I downloaded FreeCol at first. No need to worry about viruses thankfully. I'll admit that's one of Linux's good points. Once the download had finished I extracted the package file to an appropriate location. A readme file appeared. I read the installation instructions.

Launch a command prompt and go to the directory where you unpacked

the FreeCol package.

Make sure the file named 'build.xml' is in your current directory.

From that directory execute the command 'ant'. In case the command

could not be found, check your Ant installation and make sure that

the ant (*nix) or ant.exe (Windows) file is in your PATH. See the

Ant installation manual for more information.

If the compilation fails, check your CLASSPATH environment variable

and make sure that '.' is a part of it.

To any man and his dog these instructions are going to look a little intimidating. I'm not the most computer-savvy guy in the world but I do have a fair knowledge and this stumped me. What if 'build.exe' isn't in my current directory? How do I get it there if it's not already there?

If the compilation does fail how do I go about checking my CLASSPATH environment variable and how do I make '.' a part of it if it already isn't?

What on earth is Ant and how do I check the installation of it, and how do I ensure that the Ant installation file is in my PATH? In fact... what the hell is my PATH anyway?

All these questions ran through my mind as I read the readme file in Gedit. A whole lot more would be running through the minds of those unfamiliar with computers. I do intend to learn how to install games properly on Mint. But really, why must it be such a complicated process?

Now, Super Tux. I hoped and prayed that the installation of an official game programmed by those behind the operating system it was intended for running on would actually be a whole lot easier than an illegal download. Thankfully, it was.

I just had to download a .mint file, extract it, run it, and run through the installation dialog boxes as you would with a regular Windows application. Everything was nice and fast and laid out in a language easily understandable by even the most naive of beginners.

Soon enough the game was starting up in it's own little window. My first problem was how long it took. At least 1.5 minutes of waiting time was required before the opening credits and logos began appearing. And that's not the worst of it.

As soon as the main menu appeared, my ears were filled with horrible screeching sounds. For some reason the graphics were running seriously slow. Meanwhile, the sound had decided to go in the opposite direction and was playing very fast and high-pitched. I'd rather listen to hardcore metal!

I managed to play Super Tux for about five minutes before it crashed. Gameplay was at a frame rate lower than a serial killer's intentions and sound remained deafeningly unbearable. So I tried closing Super Tux but had to open Terminal and p-kill it. How very annoying.

All in all, Linux is not designed for gaming. The graphics issues are to a certain degree my hardware's fault but how do you explain the sound? All other audio works fine without a single glitch. And my sound card can handle eight-bit chiptune files, I'm pretty sure of that.

Please, share your Linux gaming experiences with us and other readers by leaving a comment!